6w3d

What a terrifying day this has been. All was perfectly fine - woke up fine, though I still say I've just felt "strange" today. I can't explain how...just strange. I went to babysit and was in the midst of preparing a bottle when I felt that telltale feeling....I went to the bathroom to check and found that I was bleeding. It was just a small amount but it was bright red and I had to sit down and make myself catch my breath and not panic. I immediately called the OB, who, of course, does not answer and I have to leave a message. I called Jay, who was asleep and did not answer, then my mom, who took a few calls to get through to. Time seemed to be standing still and I desperately needed to talk to a grown-up...just for some clarity.

The dr office finally called back about ten minutes later and I explained my history and what was going on. They said that while it wasn't entirely uncommon to bleed some in the first few weeks, they couldn't guarantee anything (I wasn't expecting them to) and that all I could do is watch and wait. If it got heavier or I had pain, they said to call back immediately. She did reassure me that it was a very good thing I didn't have any cramping or discomfort and that sometimes this just happens. I finally got to talk to Jay and he agreed that it might be best if I just came home and put my feet up for awhile.

I have to say, the family that I babysit for is fantastic. They knew my recent diagnosis before I accepted this job and they have been so supportive and have not had any issues with my needing to be out for an appointment or even last week when the ultrasounds were scheduled last minute and I was going to be out. I called her and she called her neighbor to come over so I could leave. It was such a relief to know I was going to get to just be at home with Jay and relax. Not that this job is stressful, because it isn't - he's only 4 months old and doesnt need much during the day but it does still require me to be on my feet some, and at this point I feel better if I just take it easy for a day or so and try to relax.

From what I can tell, the bleeding seemed to stop with just that bit this morning - I haven't had any pains or cramps at all and I haven't moved from the bed since I got home. Jay has been wonderful - fixed me lunch and brought it to me, and is now napping before he has to go to work tonight.

I prayed the whole way home and tried to say out loud all of the things I am grateful for - there are so many. We knew all along that this pregnancy was going to be a high-risk one, and that anything could and can still happen. I am so grateful for the chance to know that we CAN indeed get pregnant after all of this and I am so thankful to know that no matter what happens, God holds our little Sprout (that's what we've been calling it, lol) in His hands. He is safe regardless of if he stays here with me or not and that is very reassuring.