21w2d

Why does pregnancy have to be such a terrifying time? I think I've cried more in the last week than I've ever cried in my entire life.

The bleeding started again on Friday night/Saturday morning - not nearly as bright as it was when we went to the ER, but definitely not something I would consider to be brown. I was convinced all day Saturday that it was starting again and I was going to lose her and why in the world couldn't they find where it was coming from? I dealt with it during the day Saturday and by early afternoon, I finally called the on-call dr to see if he thought I should go to the ER or not. He looked over all my ultrasounds from Monday and the hospital records from two weeks ago and said he honestly and truly thought this bleeding was going to be more of a nuisance thing than a threat. That was the first time a dr has been honest about it, and I hope those really are his true feelings. He did say it looks like the tip of the placenta is being "held off" by the huge fibroid in back, which is something MFM did not tell me....whether they saw it or not, I'll never know. He said it was probably fine and not to come in, b/c they wouldn't do anything anyway, or in his words, "We dont even stop contractions until 23 or 24 weeks."

Great.

So the goal is - at LEAST 3 weeks until safety, but of course the ultimate goal is much more than that. I made myself a little calendar to mark off each day and there are now 33 days to go until 26 weeks!!!